(via dropsofstars)

Day seventeen: Have you ever been called fat? Or skinny?

I’ve been called fat a whole lot of times since I was younger… so many times I couldn’t even count, nowadays, some of my old friends call me skinny haha but just in comparison to how I used to be. I would never consider myself skinny. not yet anyway! i can only dream :D

Goodnight ;)

I’m going to record my food/exercise for the day.

breakfast: special k cereal - 160 calories

lunch: lean cuisine cheese pasta someshitidk - 400 calories

snack - skinny cow ice cream sandwich -140 calories

dinner: mixed green salad & balsamic - 100 calories

snack - skinny cow ice cream sandwich - 140 calories

then i had a 150 calorie bottle of soda.

TOTAL: 1090 calories

could have definitely done w/ out those two ice cream sandwiches…… and the soda :/ BUT that’s still not too bad although for some reason I feel like I ate a lot more than that? Idk. Yesterday I probably ate about 2500 calories :/ Tonight I also did zumba for an hour, I wish I knew an exact amount of calories I’m burning during zumba, cause I really feel like it’s not enough. Next weigh in will be sometime between the 17th and 20th of feb and I really need to get my crap together before that and stop eating ice cream & drinking soda…. EW.

Day sixteen: Have you ever missed a work out just because you couldn’t be bothered?

oh yeah, all the time. especially when i am hung over, i’m always like “errrr i’ll just not eat too much or I’ll double tomorrow” which neither ever happens…. it’s retarded.

I want out of Houston. I think. Although last year around this time (give a few months), I also wanted out of Denton. I have perfectly logical explanation for wanting out of Denton though. All of the best friends I had made while there were leaving, one to England, one to Austin, and one to stay at her parents house under her stern dad’s decision. Also, while living in Denton, I slept with some of the worsts I’ve ever been with… why? Low self-esteem? No, not any different than normal. Because the ratio of girl to guy in Denton, Texas is about 5 to 1, and 9 times out of 10, that 1 guy is a homosexual or the least bit manly. I NEED MEN!

Now, a big fucking shitstorm was dropped me on this week that is that U of H wants me to pay them 11,000 dollars because I failed all of my classes last semester (which were paid for via loans). Now, I was apparently supposed to fill out some paper that said yes I did fail all of my classes, I had no idea of this. I am a first generation college student, and last semester was my first semester at U of H. I don’t know how shit works… I got an e-mail that said I was on academic probation and no further action was needed because this is the first time it’s happened and that I am still okay to receive financial aid. COMPLETELY misleading considering there WAS further action that needed to be made. What is comes down to, is that they want me to fork over 11,000 dollars. Now, if any of you can pull this out of your pocket, you should maybe considering giving it to me! If you can’t, well yeah, neither can I! It’s complete bullshit and this situation makes me hate UH even more than I already hated it. Since I step foot on that campus I could not stand it. Now, if I don’t pay this money to them then I can’t continue to go to school anywhere - at all. So, I’m in a completely FUCKED scenario at the moment and I’m not too sure what’s going to happen yet.

Since I am so intuitive I am taking this as a sign to get the fuck out of Houston. It’s a sign because if I would have passed last semester, I would have too many credits to transfer. But since I didn’t, after completing this semester, I will still be able to transfer schools. All Houston has is bad connotations for me, WHAT is here for me? I’m not happy at this school and there isn’t anyone here that I absolutely need to stay for. I’m highly, highly considering making Austin my next destination. I just don’t want to move to Austin and then become completely depressed like I was when I moved to Houston. I don’t know, it’s all a lot to take in right now, and I need to get so many things sorted. I have had the worst stress headache since Monday and it hasn’t gone anyway and I’ve hardly been able to sleep, everything sort of sucks. My life is a complete wreck at the moment and I’m just trying to figure things out in the best way possible.

Of course I’ll be wishing for the best. I am a strong believer in karma but I am just so curious as to why I’ve been faced with so many hardships when I AM A GOOD PERSON! I AM! What is going on?!?! Some day, hopefully, I’ll land some super amazing job and have a great successful career and will never have to worry about money bullshit ever again.

(Source: ruinedchildhood.com, via skinnysimone)

dita is my absolute favorite.

(Source: thelingerieaddict, via alifelongromance)

Day fifteen: What is your favorite kind of exercise?

DANCING. I didn’t even have to think twice about this. I love dancing so much, it’s SO much fun and a great work out. I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t dance… be really sad all the time.